insydemymind

Background

For this week’s blog post I have been tasked to identify a stereotype or generalization about myself that I’ve seen in the media. The first thing that came to mind is stereotypes surrounding eating disorders. Disordered eating is something I have struggled with for almost my entire life, but in 2019 it started to turn into something that I no longer could control, it controlled me. I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa in 2020. As soon as I was diagnosed I was sent to inpatient treatment against my will, since I was a minor. Over the next few years and into college I would bounce between loosing weight, going back to treatment, loosing weight, etc. This vicious cycle lasted for about 5 years. People often ask me how I truly started recovering and I can never seem to figure out an answer, it just slowly happened and I accepted it instead of fighting it. Although everyday is its own battle and the thoughts never really go away, I am in a much better spot and very grateful to be alive. One of the scariest things that happened due to my eating disorder was my heart stopping and almost going into cardiac arrest. Because I was malnourished, if I had gone into cardiac arrest, they wouldn’t have been able to resuscitate me, and that’s a very scary thought to look back on. Heart problems and electrolyte imbalances are one of the primary dangers from eating disorders. On theme with this topic, these health risks often go un-prioritized when an individual is not underweight, even though only 6% of people with eating disorders are classified as underweight.

The Stereotypes

Before I had an ED, I didn’t truly know what Anorexia was like or what having an ED was truly like. If I’m being honest, no one will ever understand it unless yourself or someone close to you has been through it. ED’s are very complex and misunderstood. One of the main things about them that people don’t grasp is the wanting to be sick. With most diseases out there, one would seek treatment to get better, but having an eating disorder typically means you want to be the “sickest”, and you hide harmful behaviors in an attempt to control food or body image. Everyone has a different experience with one and this was mine, so this isn’t to say someone could have a slightly different meaning to their ED. When I had to learn about anorexia and bulimia in high school health class, I assumed all anorexia meant was you didn’t eat ever and were skin and bone, and bulimia was you just threw up what you ate. The media, and society in general, has a misconception that to be anorexic you have to eat nothing everyday, be skin and bone, and afraid of all food. This is a misconception because only 6% of people with diagnosed EDs are underweight. Often times because of this stigma about having to be super underweight to have an ED, people do not receive the treatment they need (around 70% to be exact).

Another strong misconception in the media about EDs is what you have to look like to have one. White adolescent females are typically used to portray EDs in film/ TV series which adds to the stigma of what you have to look like to have one. However, Black teenagers are 50% more likely to struggle with bulimia than white teens. Athletes, BIPOC, and LGBTQ+ individuals are often overlooked when it comes to EDs. The media does it’s own damage with how people can compare themselves online to photoshop, angles, flattering lighting/ clothing, etc. Hollywood has even started to glamorize eating disorders, which can be greatly harmful because it is a serious mental illness. Someone dies from an eating disorder every 52 minutes, anorexia has the highest case mortality rate and second highest crude mortality rate of any mental illness, and patients with anorexia are 18 times more likely to have a risk of suicide than those without an ED. Eating disorders are mental illnesses, not weight disorders, and there is nothing glamorous about it.

Key Questions

What perspectives or story is missing that may cause someone to have an ED? Well first one must have the three factors: environmental, biological, psychological. People with EDs are typically perfectionists, and use the ED as a way to feel in control. Obsessing over how your body looks and controlling what you eat is a way to cope with other things in that persons life. In my experience, I grew up around a family who would criticize their own bodies and food choices while labeling certain foods or behaviors around food as “bad”. If my pants started to get too tight in high school then I would have to start watching what I was eating. The missing piece to my story was environment. When I lived at home with my parents in high school I was around my mom who I felt competitive with food over and she was always loudly critical about how mine and her body looked. When I went to college in Boston my freshman year, I was so consumed and stressed with adjusting to being in college and I also started college deep in my ED, so I created another toxic environment for myself. I discovered as much as I loved Boston, it wasn’t a space I could recover or thrive in. After I moved home to MN and into my own place, something clicked or switched in my brain. I had felt a new level of freedom and less pressure from other sources in my life to want to use my ED to cope. I’ve held steady ever since I moved back in 2023. By looking at me you’d never know I have an ED, and that is because it is a mental illness. I was one of very few who was underweight with an ed and got treatment for it. For the rest of my life I will continue to challenge myself and my ED to limit its effect on my life, but it will always be apart of who I am. To anyone out there struggling, or who knows someone struggling, just know it CAN get better, everyday is a battle but it is SO worth it.

Sincerely,

A girl who never thought it could get better, but is now living the life she used to dream of

Sept. 2025 vs Aug. 2022